Dating a separated man with a child
What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.I’m not looking to rush back into a marriage, but I’m looking to date with an intent on finding a relationship.It’s what feels right for me and I feel ready for it.People often wonder about dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced. I have been separated for over a year, with young kids I have half the time. Read this email I received from a reader who is having problems in online dating because he is separated–not officially divorced.Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.
They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.
What I’ve noticed is that no woman seems to want to touch me with a 10 foot pole because I’m ‘separated.’ My divorce is pending and will be finalized in September (it’s written better in the profile).
One woman proceeded to tell me “recently divorced people are somewhat unstable emotionally”.
Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!
Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.
I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.