Dating an alcholic
He convinced me I was special and different and I was so desperate to get out of my house, that I shacked up with him and his mother in a two-bedroom apartment in Canoga Park.I was a drug addict and I had recently lost my virginity with him.
There’s a merry-go-round quality about the systems and functions and habits that occur in an alcoholic home.I was vulnerable in a way that I’ve never been again.I also realized that my asexual tendencies at that time—which resulted from my troubled home-life coupled with sexual orientation shame and simply being a late bloomer—could be quelled by alcohol.But it Halloween, my favorite holiday, and who wants to break up on Halloween?After the party, a group of us walked back to his house.Soon enough, that merry-go-round becomes a hamster wheel and even after you’ve grown up and moved out, you still run races you’ll never win.
And ache for a love deep down in the recesses of your being–in that unfillable void–that you’ll do anything to feel OK and thus you reach out for stuff: people, food, money, status, drugs, anything. When I was 18, I moved in with an alcoholic/addict who was verbally abusive and a perpetual cheat.
I didn’t realize that his having a beer after work was more a daily coping mechanism than a random occurrence. But you have to want the help in order for it to work.
Though we’d met at a mutual friend’s party—at a bar, no less—we’d both been Internet-dating at the time.
I feel kind of heartless writing that, but I’m thinking in terms of what I would tell my closest female friends or my sister if they asked me what you asked me.
There’s nothing wrong with being a supportive friend to him while he figures out his alcohol addiction.
The simple truth is that a glass of wine or two helps you relax; anything more than that is unhealthy coping with issues of which you’re not yet aware. Sure, if someone orders five beers over the course of the night, you’re going to ask yourself, I hope, is he an alcoholic? Shot-taking is something that many young men and women do, but as they mature and grow into adulthood, this behavior becomes far less common.