Dating both mother and daughter
As a child in rural Bangladesh, Orola Dalbot, 30, liked growing up around her mother's second husband, Noten. "I hoped I'd find a husband like him." When she hit puberty, however, Orola learned the truth she least expected: She was already Noten's wife.Her father had died when she was small, and her mother had remarried. Her wedding had occurred when she was 3 years old, in a joint ceremony with her mother.
Exchanging witty banter, enjoying each other's company for days on end, chatting on the phone three times an hour? These days -- much more so than when I was growing up -- many moms and daughters do.Following tradition in the matrilineal Mandi tribe, mother and daughter had married the same man."I wanted to run away when I found out," says Orola, sitting in the sunbaked courtyard of her family home in north-central Bangladesh."I was shaking with disbelief." Orola's mother, Mittamoni, now 51, told her she must accept it.Young marriage does put people at a higher risk of divorce.If your daughter comes to you for advice about getting married upon graduation, separate out what you say from your own concern about how good a stepson her boyfriend would be. Daughter Inherited Dad's Birthmark: Both my husband and our daughter were born with port-wine stains on their faces.After all, the reasoning goes, teens are less likely to spout off to their friends (if only slightly) than to their mothers; why not approach mothering more like friendship? At any age, but especially as girls grow into young women, mothers like to feel connected to their daughters and, in many cases, their daughters' friends.
If we treat our kids like "one of us," will they respect us more? At a time when there is so much societal pressure to stay young, this helps keep us feeling youthful.
Among the Mandi, a remote hill tribe in Bangladesh and India, widows who wish to remarry must choose a man from the same clan as their dead husband.
The only single males, however, are often much younger.
When the officers came to break up the fight, it turned out that the brawlers were actually a mother and daughter.
Both had sustained varying degrees of facial injuries in the tussle, police said.
They act less like parent-children than old college roommates.